Welcome to 2009! Things have been kinda crazy for me the last month or so. First of all, I am now 20 weeks along. Yay for halfway there!! I had my first ultrasound Dec. 8. We found that everything was developing on schedule and was measuring correctly to how far I am, with no found abnormalities. It was too soon to find out what I was having so they scheduled another quick scan to check the organs that weren't fully developed at that time and to determine sex. I have that done Jan. 12 so in one week I will know what I'm buying for!!! Of course big thanks to my sister again for being there, because once again he "couldn't make it"
Things in that department have really started to take its toll on me right around Christmas time. I have so many thoughts and feelings towards him that I'm not going to take the time to go into too much. For Christmas I was feeling nicer then I should and I wrote him a letter saying some things I really wanted to say, and to tell him about my next appt. I slipped an ultrasound picture and a copy of the pics on a CD in there because he had yet to see them. Since he wouldn't respond to any of my messages, I gave it to his brother to give to him. Obviously it didn't do much good since I still haven't heard from him. After that I decided it was taking to much energy to try to include him in his own child's life. This baby is going to be here soon and I have way too much to do to waste my time trying to get him involved.
Between him and a "lady" I work with saying hateful things about me and my baby, Christmas was kinda blah. Apparently since I'm not married, her tax payer dollars are gonna end up raising my baby. I don't think I've ever been more personally offended in my life. I've already been struggling with the fact I'm scared I'm going to screw my baby's life up somehow, but for her to call it into question just hit really hard for me, and my boss agreed she was way out of line.
New Years was fun, even if Jake ruined it for me by telling me my favorite Cub got traded. :)Shock that I didn't know already, I know. We had a game night at Marks, and it was really good to see Nate and Brandon. Brandon and I had a little chat and it made me feel good to know that no matter what he wanted to be part of his niece or nephews life.
So that brings me to now. The new year. As I said, the baby is gonna be here soon, so I've been making lots of plans. We decided that we are going to tear down the guest room upstairs. Since my moms scrapbook area is the other half of my basement, we're going to move that all upstairs. If you have ever seen my moms scrapbook area, you know that it rivals a section at a store, so to take that all down and move it for the baby is very nice of her. Anyway that is all going upstairs so the whole other half of the basement will be the baby's "room". We're even going to paint over the hideously ugly wallpaper. Its gonna take a lot of work, so if anyone would like to help, that would be great ;) I feel so much better having a plan and not that it isn't already, it just makes it that much more real.
I've also been doing a lot of thinking about my job. 11-7:30 was perfect before when it was just me, but it isn't a very baby friendly shift, and honestly weekends and holidays aren't exactly ideal for me anymore either. So I just enrolled in an online course in Medical Billing. A girl at work gave me all the info and after I checked all out, it seemed perfect. The course takes about 4 months but you have up to a year to complete it, and best of all its the possibility to work from home, if not have a more steady baby friendly schedule.
All this stuff is being done to make my new life, and welcome my new life. I just want to thank everyone that has stood by me through everything. Your support has meant more than you know . Its been a struggle up until now, but I believe I'm finally finding my way :)
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