Guess Who's Back...

OK, so I know I haven't done this in a really long time, but things have been going on and I just haven't felt like talking about it until now. For those of you who don't know, I am 13 weeks pregnant. To say finding out was a shock is a huge understatement because contrary to the rumor going around I was on the pill. As badly as I took it at first, he took it worse. (name is being withheld to "protect" the not taking responsibility for their actions.) I take that back. At first he didn't take it that bad, then a week later it kinda sank in for him, he said some nasty things and I told him next time I talk to him a better be done being an asshole. Lets just say that was 2 months ago and I've talked to him once since. Its been really hard going through this and experiencing everything all on my own. Luckily I have a great group of friends and an awesome family who have really been there for me. My sister has been the best. She has been to every single doctor appt. with me so I don't have to go alone. She sat with me in the waiting room while I was trying my hardest not to cry because he canceled on me 15 minutes before we were supposed to hear the heartbeat for the first time. She's been the one to tell me it will all be OK when he never cared enough to find out how it went. And she was right. I am doing OK. I have a life growing inside of me and I can't think of anything more amazing that I've ever been a part of.



I am almost finished with my first trimester and luckily it has gone relatively smoothly. Other then a couple days of feeling really nauseous, I didn't have much morning sickness. I was really really tired for awhile but my energy is already coming back. I can't wait to feel it move. I've been really kind of lucky. My awesome friend Kayla is a few months ahead of me and she has been so helpful in telling me what I should expect. Sometimes I feel like I wouldn't be able to get through this if it weren't for her.



Besides my sister, my family has been super supportive. I was really nervous to tell my dad. Not because he would be disappointed, but because he really doesn't like him. Luckily, not one family member has been upset or tried to lecture me like they sometimes do. My sister in law even gave me all of her maternity clothes so I don't have to get too much more. Just some winter stuff because it doesn't get cold in SC.



Well holy long blog batman. Now that everything is out in the open, I will keep you updated on me and my baby. May 25th can not get here fast enough :)

Valid

So its official, I now have a valid drivers license. I have to say this trip to the BMV was much better then the last. I only missed 3 questions on the test. Not bad for not taking one in 13 years! You have no idea the feeling of relief I have now that I don't have the suspended license hanging over my head.

Right now things are going really good. I got the license reinstated and renewed, I am so close to paying my parents back and making me debt free, I leave for Chicago Friday for the last Cubs home games, and my parents leave Friday for South Carolina giving me a much needed week away from them :) Only bad thing about that is my birthday is next Wednesday and my family won't be here to spend it with me, so hopefully I can find someone to hang out with me on the last birthday I'm willingly celebrating :)

Oh yeah for anyone who doesn't know yet, we're having a birthday party for me, Chupp and Cassie on Sept. 27. If you want details, email me and I'll give you the info!

The Greatest Man I've Ever Known

Today is a day of mixed emotions for me. On one hand its my friend Dustin's birthday. I don't know why but I get almost as excited about my friends having a birthday as I do my own. So while I'm sitting here hoping he has the greatest birthday, his day will be forever overshadowed with the death of my grandpa. Its hard to believe its been 4 years since he passed away and I can still remember it like it was yesterday. When trying to think of all the words I can say to describe how much he impacted my life, I think its just best summed up with he was by far the greatest man I've ever been blessed to have in my life. Grandpa and I were very close. When my grandma died, I went over to his house on a weekly basis to clean his house, run his errands, and drive him places. In return he would tell me stories about growing up, the war, my dad and uncle and of course the Cubs. This went on for about 3 years before his health starting failing. Soon I found myself at his house on a daily basis just sitting with him and watching Cubs games. I took it really hard when he died. I mean in my head I knew the man was 94 years and it was his time but over the years there became no one in the world I would rather spend time with then him. He was my best friend. He taught me so many things and no matter how big or how often I screwed up, he never gave up on me. He introduced me to the greatest love I've ever known....the Chicago Cubs :) As I sit here now 4 years later watching our team inch closer and closer to something he never got to see in his lifetime, a Cubs World Series Championship, I can't help but feel sad he isn't here to cheer with me but I know he's somewhere better rooting them on too. Normally on this day I sit on my bench and chat with him but due to the torrential downpour of rain, I figured I'd pay tribute to him this way. I love you grandpa and I miss you everyday. You will forever be the greatest man I've ever known.

Renewing the license.....maybe.

For weeks I've been reading blogs of various people getting inspired by their stories and contemplating starting my own. Several thoughts crept into my head as I thought about it. Is my life entertaining enough? Do I really want to broadcast my business out there for everyone to see? Are people gonna judge me just for the thoughts I have swirling in my head? Then I came to the conclusion that I always end up coming to. I don't really care. I've never had an easy time expressing whats going on with me by talking to people so maybe this way I can still communicate what I'm feeling without having to actually speak it. So here it goes.....

Today I got up with one goal to accomplish, renewing the drivers license. If you know me, you know I got a DUI a year ago and have to carry 8 active points on my license until Nov. 08 which means you have to take the written test to renew. So I studied the manual for weeks. Keep in mind I have not touched this thing since I was 16. Yeah that was 13 years ago. So I walk into the BMV nervous about it but hopeful and I finally sit down with the lady and we start the process. She pulls up my records and gets really quiet. Then very rudely tells me that we can go no further because my license is suspended. First of all, I'm in shock since I took a stack of papers with me in December when I got it reinstated, so I ask how that's possible. I don't know if she was having a bad day or just wanted to get me out of there because she was like, you need to file this insurance form and you need to go to the reinstatement branch in South Bend so they can deal with you. So I gather my things and call my insurance lady and tell her what happened. She's confused also because the form we filed in December should have covered the other form they were asking for, but being the awesome lady she is dropped everything and filled out this other form for me.

I'm not sure how any this happened. I'm not sure why I was never informed that my license was suspended again, but I do know that I have been driving around with a suspended license for almost 9 months now. The soonest I can get over to South Bend is next Tuesday so I figure a couple more days compared to 9 months isn't gonna hurt. I'm just really lucky that I never got pulled over in that time because that would mean back to jail. Now I have a few more days to study for that test and hope I remember all those signs.